I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
