2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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