so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
