i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
