We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
