you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize