yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
