I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
