she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
