I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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