The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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