The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
