Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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