STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
