i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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