Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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