It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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