So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Non-Jews are for practice
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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