I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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