so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you will always have a special place in my vag
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
