I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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