I skipped work to stalk him.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
