Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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