Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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