I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
