He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My liver just had a heart attack.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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