The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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