I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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