The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
