she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
