There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize