So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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