It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
