is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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