Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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