sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
