we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
