I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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