I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
