I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
