she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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