Do vagina's smell?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
