my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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