If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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