I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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