hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
