Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
