If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
