you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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