You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
