ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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