I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
pray to the hookup gods
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
