if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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