Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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