That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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