so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
