If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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