Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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