i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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